When I think of God as our refuge, I think of...
*times I've been in physical danger and He covered me
*times when I have experienced emotional or mental distress and He held me
*times when I am worn down and tired and He holds me (I like to cuddle!!)
Recently we tried reaching out to the Saturday Night Lady (introduced in the previous post). When I had called or text her to follow up and offer any more help, I would either get voicemail, no response, or a quick pick-up/hang-up. I was confused and frustrated and wanted to just yell through the phone: I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU!!! Then, I would turn to God and say just about the same thing: WHY DID SHE COME INTO OUR LIVES, YOU OPENED OUR EYES TO SOMETHING, WE ARE WILLING TO HELP - isn't that what You want out of us??? - AND YET WE CAN NOT RECONNECT WITH THIS WOMAN???? (sorry for all the caps but I definitely what to emphasize what my heart was feeling. Note: I wasn't screaming at Him, just pouring it all out to Him)
Big Jake and I were discussing this - I was sharing my frustrations about this. All of a sudden the words that Big Jake spoke seemed like words of wisdom (I often think he is a wise one - but this was different). He said: Maybe God is protecting us from something that COULD happen through this new relationship. ((((mind blown))) Have you seen the new TMNT movie? There's a part when Michelangelo makes a "mind-blowing" gesture after Splinter says some wise words and that's exactly the movement I did when I heard those words of wisdom flowing from Big Jake's mouth. I truly believe it was a moment when God used an adopted son of His to answer my mind-knotting question.
To recap what I learned:
God opened our eyes to see someone's pain. We responded by helping her with monetary support and offering any other help to her family. We even exchanged numbers. We met with God in prayer opened our minds and hearts to what He had planned for this - no matter how big! We tried reaching out to her over the next few days. Frustration grew in my mind and I asked God why it was so hard to help her. Big Jake and I conferenced over the matter and an answer came: take refuge and trust in Me! (((mind blown... again)))
Oh, how God shows Himself. How God speaks. How God protects us, calms us down, teaches us lessons, shows us His heart!!
Sometimes I think God wants to see how far we are willing to go as His servants, whether He uses us at that moment or not. He's preparing us for something greater for His kingdom's sake. We don't know His eternal plans.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. ~Proverbs 3:5
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior; you save me from violence. ~2 Samuel 22:3
Put me in, Coach... I'm ready to play (I pray)!
Until then, let me stay warmed up and ready on the sidelines!!!
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